I'm a finely tuned athlete...Ready to pounce

(pic courtesy of www.clipartkid.com)

I'm fit, toned and ready to kick some bitches asses...Okay okay, so maybe I'm not fit, I'm not toned and even if I wanted to kick some ass, I probably couldn't keep up with anyone to actually do it! But I DO want to play...which sucks because all games and training has been cancelled due to the weather....I mean seriously, why would I want to play soccer in wet weather? it's not like it's a WINTER sport or anything....

Coach is always saying he doesn't see the point in making us run for no reason, the best way to get fit is to play matches and get match fit. I have a question....How the hell am I supposed to get "match fit" if we can't actually train or play a match?????

I'm probably a lot more frustrated by this than most of my other team mates...Let's face it. They're machines, programmed to launch into attack or defense at the slightest movement, while me? I'm programmed to eat chocolate, watch netflix marathons and cringe when I run from the jiggly bits and bouncing boobs. I have a long way to go before I'm "match fit" and have a lot I need to prove before I feel I can class myself as a true player.

I mean I can try and do some indoor exercises...like practicing the Maradona move or some toe taps or something. But in the spirit of honesty...the brain might be willing, but the body's a bit reluctant...So no. I won't be doing any fancy footwork in my lounge room. The only fancy footwork I see coming is the kind that requires me to get up off the lounge and go to the toilet now and then...No. I'll be getting myself mentally fit instead, by googling, you tubing and watching as much netflix as possible!

Cheers to the rainy days and puddles.....It is afterall, a lovely day for ducks.